The other day, Chris invited me over to watch a movie with him and Ryan and Zach. It was like old times, except now Ryan's the one pursuing me. We started playing this balance-pushing game thing and Chris wanted to play me. Saucily I said, "Bring it on." We started playing and laughing and pushing eachother to lose balance and he, amidst laughing gasp, shouted, "It's so fun to play with you!" At that moment, I realized, he still has feelings.

I just received some very good news for Chris. And now it is my turn to pass it along, just like I was the one who told him that Janine was single finally, not to mention on my birthday. Does he see it? Probably not. But I sure wish he would.

I didn't think "loving" someone would be this much of a daily, constant, unseen sacrifice. Thank heavens for the day that someone of high caliber will care for me like this, and love me, and actually see me and be thankful I love him.

Until then, Lord give me the strength to continually support and care for Chris, even though it comes back void and continues to hurt my heart. Please fill the holes he has left. Please make those places yours and yours alone, not just leftovers from a boy. I want you in my heart, you to complete me, you as my everything.