When My Soul Gets Dark

My soul gets dark when I watch TV. Violence, sexuality, caustic humor, commercialism, incessant commercials: They all make my world a little dimmer by shaving off the sensitive edge that I much prefer, regardless of it's social un-cool-ness. Amber brought up how sensitive children are to violence. It is because they are not conditioned to the daily horrors we pass off as "culture." The man walking down the street holding another man's hand, dishonest and immoral political leaders, hungry people asking for food, mom and dad yelling at each other. And the thing that breaks my heart is that I do close to nothing about those tragedies just mentioned. I look away in confused gross-outedness at homosexuals, I do not embrace them. I do not take the time to learn the issues and vote passionately. I walk past the man on the side of the road because I am not sure whether my money will go to good, healthy food, or to drugs. But who am I to determine his steps. Is not Jesus the lord of the poor and the rich?

Long Story Short:
My senses are dull. I am trying to sharpen them. But it requires swimming way upstream, Grand Coulee Dam Style.

Lord help me. I so desire to walk next to you, beneath the shelter of your wing. I know I cannot have one foot in the Kingdom and one foot in the World. I choose You. I choose Your ways. Please give me strength and perseverance in this quest for childlike innocence.