The Idea of Family

"You can't be everywhere at one time." Yes, but why should that hold me back from being a part of my families, no matter how far apart we are? I have recently realized that my dedication to relationships and family is something deeply special that very few people share. I am thankful the Lord has given me such a soft heart for loved ones and such a profound sense of dedication to relationships. Unfortunately, I find this unique gift comes with elements of sadness.

I called my aunt in California yesterday, whom I have not heard from in over 6 years. We casually chatted and I realized our lives have absolutely zero effect on each other. I heard my cousin laugh in the background, and she still sounds exactly the same as she did 14 years ago when we would spend every waking moment together, even putting water balloons in our swimsuits as jiggly implants.

But that is over. Now it is the stage of formality. How are you and how is your family? You're graduating. Wow. That's great. I don't know a thing about you expect that we both have big foreheads. And this saddens me. Why must this be so?

I wish I could sit down with my friends and family and make an agreement.

1. You have my guarantee that I will love you and care about you merely because you are my family. I will make effort to love you and to be with you. Please treat me like I matter to you.

2. You have my guarantee that I will love you and care about you merely because you are my dear friend. I will not flake out on you, I will not leave you in the lurch and I will be here for you when you need it. Please honor our friendship and commitments out of love and respect for the other.

Both my mom and dad warned me that I am a 200%er. And I have high expectations of others giving their all. But few people have the 200% capacity. So I cannot expect them to give, do and be all to me that I can be to them. It still makes me sad though.

Why is love so hard?