This may not be rational, and my x chromosome is telling me on the 29th day that it isn't, but this is still how I feel.
I may not be that good of a musician. I mean think about it, there are 1 million girls out there who can sing. And where do I fit into all that? It makes me sad that every time I sing a note, people are not amazed. Listening to myself tonight, I was not amazed. But honestly, does that matter?
It's just that I have that dream in the back of my head that I'll be the lady in the red cowl-back gown on stage singing to jazz lovers in a dark little restaurant in a busy town that has paused to enjoy the beauty of life and love. *exhale*
Emily showed me her pictures from her Zebra Club photo shoot. The owner of the club walked into the restaurant where she worked and asked her to come model - to come wear pretty clothes and look beautiful in pictures for the masses to see and enjoy. I will never be that girl. And maybe I am okay with it. I don't really envy her, I guess I just envy the opportunity. I envy the fact that she is using these pictures for her CD cover. Sure anybody can have a CD, but I want MY own CD. I want to be photographed, called beautiful and put those pictures on my CD.
I think it's time for me to get over it.
No comments:
Post a Comment