Not a checklist

I don't think I have been able to hear God's voice lately. And that frustrates me. So as I was talking with Ryan, I went over all the things that could be getting in the way. I am not plugged into a church. I don't feel like I read the bible enough. I don't feel like I pray enough. Hmm. Sounds obvious, right? I need to do those things more. And then the Love of My Life replied,

"Cari, your walk with the Lord is not a checklist. The only check that ever had to be made was salvation. Relax. Think about how much you have learned, and worshipped and grown from reading Chronicles of Narnia. It's okay babe. Just keep plugging along."

And there again, I am blessed beyond all imagination. I have such a "performance driven life" (get it, pun on Purpose Driven Life) that sometimes I forget how this walk of ours is not a sprint, and it is about the heart, not about the way things look. Has my heart been perfect lately? No. By all means. But that isn't to say that I am not growing. And isn't that what the Lord wants? Two steps forward and one step back is still one step forward. I just wish it was easier.