I really wasn't looking forward to moving to my Ballard house those 3 months ago, and now I don't want to leave. I know what's coming is good, but for some reason I hesitate. I am resistant to change. Could it be I am mourning singleness? Could it be I am simply a bit shaken about the gravity of the vows Ryan and I will make in just one month? Could it be that I am tired constantly and have not been able to delight in Ryan and me for a while? Why must life be so busy? I need a good date, I need a bouquet of flowers, I need a pretty dress and high heels and more dancing. Need, want, who can tell the difference these days?
I have a list two pages long of things left to do for this wedding. I wake up and it is the first thing I do. I put my computer down after midnight and crash into a sleep of exhaustion. I am so thankful I am not working right now, but I feel so stressed about money. This comes up, and that breaks down, and this check from last month just got cashed and was forgotten about. I know I shouldn't be worried.
Lord, please give me strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow. I trust you to provide and take care of Ryan and me.
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