Who Ryan Married

I recently received this little snippet from a friend, and it is so good.

"The moment you marry someone, you and your spouse begin to change in profound ways, and you can't know ahead of time what those changes will be. So you don't know, you can't know, who your spouse will actually be in the future until you get there...
Over the years you will go through seasons in which you have to learn to love a person who you didn't marry, who is something of a stranger. You will have to make changes that you don't want to make, and so will your spouse. The journey may eventually take you into a strong, tender, joyful marriage. But it is not because you married the perfectly compatible person. That person doesn't exist."
- Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

I think about the girl Ryan married. I was a singer and he was my groupie. I was a take-the-world-by-the-tail designer on the fast track to dominating Seattle with awesomeness. I was a late night happy hour girl. I was a party in a box and ready for fun at any moment.

I think all of my essentials have remained, but so much of the other stuff has changed. I'm working to regain some of who I used to be, but for the most part, life has changed me, and I need to embrace that. Proverbs 31:25 talks about how the noble wife can laugh at the days to come. She is not stuck on the days past, and knows that what's coming next is probably nuts, but she is taking it in stride. I want that.

Ryan is not exactly the same guy that I married 5 years ago either. His essentials are all there, but he has changed. I think what Tim Keller said was good - there is no way we can know who our spouses will become. We can't anticipate events or experiences that will change us. However, its important to choose a spouse of character who is made of the "good stuff." I think Ryan and I have both won the jackpot in that arena. We are so blessed!