State of the Union

Well, not so good. And yet, sometimes awesome. I'm conflicted.

The transition to two kids has been better than expected practically, but I've been a little bit of a wreck  . . . not emotionally, because I'm not weepy and depressed, not maritally because Ry and I are doing really well (which is a huge surprise because after Julia we were TERRIBLE!), I guess it is all about my brain. And perhaps being moody.

I struggle to find my words, to make decisions, to make good plans and to ditch bad plans. I get really overwhelmed and even more fuddled the more tired I am. And my temper - my fuse has gotten a lot shorter and my bomb has gotten much bigger :o( I can't believe how much I've had to apologize and repent to Julia for my attitude/tone of voice/anger. It's mortifying and totally humbling. Granted, I think her attitude has upped a notch or two, especially since she is now forced to share me, but that is no excuse.

So I'm in a weird place. I even ditched biblestudy on Wednesday (which I look forward to all week!) because I was overwhelmed. Sleeping totally has to do with it. It's hard for me to get back to sleep after like a 4 or 5am feeding because Ryan starts to get up and coffee makers and alarms are going off, the sun is rising, blah blah blah.

BUT, I just started  Slim in 6 today (a 6 week work-out slimming program), and I'm excited to shed some of my extra baby weight. I'd like to lose 20 more pounds. That would make me really happy. I know it'll be a lot of work, but I want my body back asap so Ryan can have a hot wife, and I can feel good about myself this summer - and beyond! I just need to stay consistent, stop eating desserts (except for dark chocolate, OF COURSE!), drink tons of water and make healthy eating decisions.

I also need to get out into the garden to prepare for this year's batch of sunflowers. Julia and I are both excited about that. We'll also be doing some veggies that my beloved sister is starting for us. She is magnificent.

So there I am. It's time for soup - tomato soup! 

:o)