This weekend has been amazing. Never has so much heart construction rocked my world in such a short period of time. I am calling it my ethical/emotional revolution. Everything is changing. Some good, lots painful, but that's what makes you real, right? It's like the Velveteen Rabbit. I am real, now more than ever.

I feel as if my life has turned into a divine comedy, guided by God smiling and saying, "I'm gonna do this and it's gonna make you smile at how wonderful I am."

On Friday I was praying and a person who I was thinking about stopped by 5 minutes later! It was amazing. She spoke into my life with such truth and such wisdom. Here's something she said that continues to rock my world. She once requested that she be treated by a guy-friend as if she was already married. Weird as it sounds, it was her desire to be kept pure and sanctified because she will someday be somebody else's wife and she was choosing to honor that. What a concept!

She also taught me to not be afraid of pain. My dear friend Zach was over on Saturday night. We talked so truly. He kind of chuckled and he told me he was contrasting the vulnerable me in the kitchen pouring out my heart (guarded of course) with the fun, "I've got it all together" girl he met on our first day of college ever. He remarked that it's much easier to be friends with the Cari in the kitchen. Maybe it's because I was cooking for him ;)

Never have I been so humbled in who I am, my relationships, my understanding (or lack thereof) and who the Lord is. I am weaker than I have ever been in my life. I am in desperate need of God's covering. And He will never let me down.

What a friend we have in Jesus . . .

And if you're still reading, keep going because this is good:

I am reading the Sacred Romance and it is amazing. It talks about that thing that pulls at your heart when you feel most alive that overwhelms you with excitement that almost makes you want to weep, it's so beautiful . . . That is God wooing our souls. That is Him relating to us.

The pastor this morning talked about this runner in some old movie that said,
"God made me fast. I feel His pleasure when I run."
God made me me. I feel His pleasure when I am real.