What in the world is my calling? Do you have a calling?
Is there something you feel God has created you for?

When praying this morning about it, the only thing I heard (which is the same answer I always get) is that I am to love people. That's it. No direction as to how, when or where, but just to love people.

I wish I knew exactly what God had in store for my life. Yes, I agree that part of the glory of life is discovering God's plans as we go, but it makes for not very sure steps. I feel like I am always taking a step, but never putting my full weight on the ground under me until I test it for a while. And even after I step, I find myself wondering if the ground will just crumble under me.

Like with Ryan. This is amazing. It's something I could have never imagined or planned for myself. But is it just too good to be true? How do I know that I am not just swept off my feet by this amazing man? I have peace, but I want confidence. I want to know this is God's best, not just something good (very good I might add). I am scared that I will get ensnared by the good around me and miss the best.

I think that's the root of all my problems - I am scared I'll get distracted by the good and miss out on the best. I don't want to look back at my life in 10 years and kick myself for settling down, for not hiking around Europe with my girlfriends, for getting too deep into a job too young.


Lord, guide me. I will put one foot in front of the other because you are holding my hand. I will walk with you. I will trust that you will not allow me to go astray. It is not all about my effort to stay close to you. You hold me in the palm of your hand. You will not let my foot slip. I love you.