PLEASE, I know this looks long, but read it. It's so huge!

From The Sacred Romance

"All of us have had poignant ecstasies of heart over a love affair that subsequently turned into immobilizing pain and shock after we realized that our lover could actually know us and yet leave us for another. But have you ever dated someone and you just knew, from the first time you met her that she were the one you wanted to spend your life with? As you laughed and talked and marveled together, you felt your love deepen to a heart bond that you knew you never wanted to free yourself from. And have you ever been shocked to find one day that the one you loved so deeply and who you thought loved you just as passionately, had been dating other people, and moreover, was spending more and more time with your worst enemy?
Have you ever had to literally turn a lover over to a mortal enemy to allow her to find out for herself what the his intentions toward your love really were? Have you ever had to lie in bed knowing she was believing his lies and was having sex with him every night? Have you ever sat helplessly by in a parking lot, while your enemy and his friends took turns raping your lover even as you sat nearby, unable to win her heart enough so she would trust you to rescue her? Have you ever called this one you had loved for so long, even the day after her rape, and asked her if she was ready to come back to you only to have her say her heart was still captured by your enemy? Have you ever watched your lover's beauty slowly diminish and fade in a haze of alcohol, drugs, occult practices, and infant sacrifice until she is no longer recognizable in body or soul? Have you ever loved one so much that you even send your only son to talk with her about your love for her, knowing that he will be killed by her? (And in spite of knowing all this, he was willing to do it because he loved her, too, and believed you were meant for eachother?)
All this and more, God has endured because of his refusal to stop loving us."

So if your curious, here's the less important status of me:

And then, all of the sudden things change . . .

Last night I went to El Diablo to spend some time with God and it was amazing. Ryan Mullaney came up to join me and we had a great chat. My mind is finally thinking straight. It's taken a while. My joy is back. I have actually breathed at least 17 times today. I have a cake baking, which delights me because it's for a super secret-squirrel blessing. Ryan officially graduates from college tomorrow. He's done. He won't be taking part in any ceremony at all. So . . . I called for computer help and he'll be over about 5:15 tomorrow night to fix my "crashed laptop." Little does he know I dragged out my cap and gown from high school, made him a congratulations card, and am planning a surprise dinner with one of our good friends of baked garlic rosemary chicken with pesto-alfredo pasta and asparagus. For dessert, the aforementioned two layer chocolate cake :) I am so excited! What fun this will be.