March 30, 2004

Proposals

So there’s this funny thing about me. I get proposed to, rather often, I might add. And yet, I am amazingly single. No dates being asked for, no phone numbers being distributed, I just seem to be untouchable, except for those guys who want to skip everything and get married. Each of these guys I love in their own special little way, but sadly none have shown themselves worthy, at least not yet.

1. Tyler Johnson. 1999. Biology class. He was my first boyfriend. We were bored in class; I was fiddling with his arm. He asked me if we could skip off to Vegas and get married. I calmly postponed our marriage to a later date.

2. Eric Appesland. 2001. The bus after a marching band competition. I was scratching his back, his head on my lap. He claimed that I just had to marry him or he’d die. Currently, he is still alive. Lucky him.

3. Jason Chu. 2002. An Arts Benefit concert. I was up on the stage singing. The lights were dim, my sequined dress was gleaming, shining pink, then blue with every sway of my knees. There was a brief musical interlude. "MARRY ME CARI!" came from the audience. Sorry Jason, I was busy.

4. The Sanford Family. 2002. Galen’s Birthday party. I was walking out. It had been a good night; one of those where I was the new, mysterious new girl among many, many delightful young men. His parents asked me to marry their son, Galen.

5. The Talbott Family. 2002. Galen’s Birthday party. I was still on my way out. The Talbott parental units also asked me to marry their son Sterling. Two in one night. Rackin’ them in!

6. Curtis Solheim. 2002. Westgate Chapel, the church where I grew up. A delightfully sassy young chap who will grab your hand and kiss his own. I love this kid. A small proposal, informal as it was. "So, when are we getting married?" I am yet to reply.

7. Bryan Thornhill. 2003. 1am, SeaTac Airport. A dose of silliness and without ever meeting the man, decided to greet him with a big hug and a "Yes, Bryan, I will marry you." Unfortunately, before we picked him up, my bite-size bladder got the best of me. I had to be dropped off at a gate. When I came out, Amber had already picked Bryan up. Demise. To my surprise, he leaped out of the car, got down on one knee and proposed on the spot with police in the background giving the thumbs up. I screamed and accidentally knocked his class ring two lanes over. We jumped in the Minty-Mobile and drove on, saying "nice to meet you" on the way.

8. Drew, Sterling’s Friend. (Is it bad if I can’t remember his last name?) 2003. Instant Messenger. He had to get in on the fun. A quick "marry me." A quick "no." A quick goodbye.

9. Sterling Talbott. 2003. On my cell phone at Kerry Park, the place notorious for Seattle proposals. Talking to Amber. She throws Sterfry on. "Cari, I love you. I’ll never be complete without you. Marry me" yadda yadda yadda. It was good. Probably one of the top three, or four, or, well, there are so many to choose from.

10. Noah Fletcher. 2004. SPU, his dorm room. He had an interview. Did I know how to iron? Yes, will I teach him? Do I also cook? Clean a little? He quickly proposed and even entered his number into my phone as "Marry me." Cute. Definitely creative. I turned him down until one day, I needed help with my car. I figured I could marry him then. He would work on my car, I would teach him how to iron (the sleeves are always so hard). It lasted about a month. He broke it off at lunch one day. I cried a little, okay a lot. But then I found a new mechanic. Unfortunately, Noah continues to have interviews and wrinkled shirts.

11. Matt Bollinger. 2004. Choir Tour. Day 9. Laguna Hills. I dodged out of the concert to change into my comfies; a cute denim mini with a pink tank. I was done just as he was exiting the concert. He noted my speed. I mentioned that I also pee faster than a speeding bullet. "Can we get married?" Unfortunately, a union like that would be kryptonite to my speedy powers.

I look forward to the day when a boy asks me to marry him for real. Or how bout just out to coffee for real, or even to carry my books. No, that would be stupid. Coffee is good. Yes, that will do.