The struggle between reality and acceptability continues. the un-capitalized ramblings of a spirit truly drained vs The ever inoffensive, slightly hidden, witty, correctly punctuated, and comfortable-for-all self-centered thoughts. Which should we choose, an anecdote, or a clear view into the soul?

Unfortunately, a line between vulnerability and safety must be drawn. But when does it get to be just too much. When is it time to say ENOUGH! and simply be honest about how one feels? Guarded hearts vs. openness and reality. Which do we choose?

Are you a more open person? Do you put yourself out there? Do you get hurt, but experience more joy at the same time? I was that way for a very long time, and lapse every now and then. But of late, the only mode of survival I have found is to close off a bit. And that makes me sad. I feel like I am not able to truly be me because you get stung by others trying who are trying to keep up the pretense of okay-ness in turn hurting the vulnerable heart. Have you become closed? Do you refrain from vulnerable reality for protection also?

And where does God fit into this? He is the protector of my heart, yes, but does that mean I can just be an open book? I don't think so. Conversely, Jesus was open with so many. Was he just a better judge of character, able to perceive the safe people from the fools? And even then, where is the line between wasting your breath on folly vs. always hoping for someone? Blaghh. So many questions!